The Quotes
(New quotes from readers and friends click here)

The Beagle is a merry little hound who likes to snack, snooze and sniff!
- Unknown

"If there is no heaven for dogs, then I want to go where they go when I die."
- Anonymous

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts"
- John Steinbeck

If a dog doesn't put you first where are you both? In what relation? A dog needs God. It lives by your glances, your wishes. It even shares your humor. This happens about the fifth year. If it doesn't happen you are only keeping an animal.
- Enid Bagnold 1889-1981, British Novelist, Playwright

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
- Robert Benchley 1889-1945, American Humorist, Critic, Parodist

Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship.
- Ambrose Bierce 1842-1914, American Author, Editor, Journalist, ''The Devil's Dictionary''

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs.
- Clara Bow 1965-, American Actress

To a dog, every day is Saturday.
- Bob Wagner 1988

A dog is the only love money can buy.
- Unknown

You may drive a dog off the King's armchair, and it will climb into the preacher's pulpit; he views the world unmoved, unembarrassed, unabashed.
- Jean De La BruyFre 1645-1696, French Classical Writer

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
- Mark Twain, a Biography

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.
- Samuel Butler 1612-1680, British Poet, Satirist

The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go.
- Winston Churchill 1874-1965, British Statesman, Prime Minister

In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.
- Edward Hoagland 1932-, American Novelist, Essayist

Near this spot are deposited the remains of one who possessed Beauty without Vanity, Strength without Insolence, Courage without Ferocity, and all the Virtues of Man without his Vices. This praise, which would be unmeaning Flattery, if inscribed over human ashes, is but a just Tribute to the Memory of BOATSWAIN, a Dog.
- John Cam Hobhouse

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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
- Fran Lebowitz 1951-, American Journalist

A composite dog is a dog that's made up of all the valuable qualities that's in the dog breed--kind of a syndicate; and a mongrel is made up of the riffraff that's left over.
- Mark Twain in Eruption

How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln 1809-1865, Sixteenth President of the USA

Extraordinary creature! So close a friend, and yet so remote.
- Thomas Mann 1875-1955, German Author, Critic

His friends he loved. His direst earthly foes -- cats -- I believe he did but feign to hate. My hand will miss the insinuated nose, mine eyes the tail that wagg'd contempt at Fate.
- Sir William Watson 1858-1935, British Poet

"The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too."
- Samuel Butler

The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's.
- Mark Twain in a letter to W. D. Howells, 4/2/1899

"If dogs could talk, perhaps we would find it as hard to get along with them as we do with people."
- Capek

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
- Billings

"The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two."
- Maeterlinck

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
- Ben Williams

"Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about little puppies."
- Gene Hill

"If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either."
- Unknown

"Old dogs, like old shoes, are comfortable. They might be a bit out of shape and a little worn around the edges, but they fit well."
- Bonnie Wilcox

"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog."
- Edward Hoagland

"I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn't excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother."
- Bonnie Schacter

"No Matter how little money and how few possessions, you own, having a dog makes you rich."
- Louis Sabin

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"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail."
- Josh Billings

"A piece of grass a day keeps the vet away"
- Unknown Dog

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
- Roger Caras

"The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic."
- Henry Ward

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon, hence the constant popularity of dogs."
- Aldous Huxley

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives."
- Sue Murphy

"Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends."
- Alexander Pope

"Every dog must have his day."
- Jonathan Swift

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
- Ann Landers

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
- James Thurber

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does."
- Christopher Morley

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
- Josh Billings

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
- Andrew A.

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
- Unknown

"I've seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
- John Steinbeck

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. It is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
- Mark Twain

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"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue"
- Anonymous

"The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog."
- George Graham

"Every boy who has a dog should also have a mother, so the dog can be fed regularly."
- Anonymous

"Even the tiniest poodle is lionhearted, ready to do anything to defend home, master, and mistress."
- Louis Sabin

"Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe, we are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made."
- Roger Caras

"A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk."
- O. A.

"A dog is man's best friend, and vice versa."
- Anonymous

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
- Roger Caras

"The dog has got more fun out of man than man has got out of the dog, for man is the more laughable of the two animals."
- James Thurber

"A good dog deserves a good home."
- Proverb

"A watchdog is a dog kept to guard your home, usually by sleeping where a burglar would awaken the household by falling over him."
- Anonymous

"There's just something about dogs that makes you feel good. You come home, they're thrilled to see you. They're good for the ego."
- Janet Schnellman

"Every dog isn't a growler, and every growler isn't a dog."
- Anonymous

"A dog's bark may be worse than his bite, but everyone prefers his bark."
- Anonymous

"The ideal dog food would be a ration that tastes like a postman."
- Anonymous

"A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours."
- Anonymous

"There is only one smartest dog in the world, and every boy has it."
- Anonymous

"Every dog may have his day, buy it's the puppies that have the weekends."
- Anonymous

"It's no coincidence that man's best friend cannot talk."
- Anonymous

"A dog's bark may be worse than his bite, but it's never quite so personal"
- Anonymous

"Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails."
- Max Eastman

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"Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job."
- Franklin P.

"I can train any dog in 5 minutes. It's training the owner that takes longer."
- Barbara Woodhouse

"You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us."
- Robert Louis

"You can't keep a good man down -- or an over affectionate dog."
- Anonymous

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
- Rita Rudner

"No animal I know of can consistently be more of a friend and companion than a dog."
- Stanley Leinwoll

"When most of us talk to our dogs, we tend to forget they're not people."
- Julia Glass

"You own a dog; you feed a cat."
- Jim Fiebig

"Any time you think you have influence, try ordering around someone else's dog."
- The Cockle

"None are as fiercely as dog. In return, no doubt, for the never-ending loyalty of dogs."
- Linda Shrieves,

"Happiness is a warm puppy."
- Charles Schulz

"A collie has the brain of a man, and the ways of a woman."
- Scottish Proverb

"Many dogs will give a greeting grin much like a human smile."
- Richard A.

"Intelligent dogs rarely want to please people whom they do not respect."
- W.R. Koehler

"There is no faith which has never yet been broken except that of a truly faithful dog."
- Konrad Lorenz

"The old saw about old dogs and new tricks only applies to certain people."
- Daniel Pinkwater

"I have caught more ills from people sneezing over me and giving me virus infections than from kissing dogs."
- Barbara Woodhouse

"A dog is nothing but a furry person."
- Anonymous

"A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it."
- Helen Thomson

"A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well - almost."
- Charlotte Gray

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"Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement"
- Snoopy

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read"
- Groucho Marx

"Cats. Can't live with them CAN live without them."
- Richard S.

"A dog is the only thing that can fill the void in your empty heart"
-Kate

"Acquiring a dog, may be the only time a person gets to choose a relative."
- Unknown

"The gift which I am sending you is called a dog, and is in fact the most precious and valuable possession of mankind"
- Theodorus Gaza

"A good dog never dies, he always stays, he walks besides you on crisp autumn days when frost is on the fields and winter's drawing near, his head within our hand in his old way."
- Anonymous

"A dog is the only thing that can mend a crack in your broken heart"
- Judy Desmond

"(most) Dogs have a better life than you. If you think about it your waiting on them hand a foot."
- Anonymous

"Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mail man is not to be trusted"
- Sian Ford

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
- Unknown

Have a quote you'd like us to add? Just let us know.

Quotes from Readers and Friends:

"Dog ownership is like a rainbow. Puppies are the joy at one end. Old dogs are the treasure at the other."
- Carolyn Alexander ( Thanks to Michelle and the Dodgson Beagles; Bailey, Buster, Baxter, Belle, and Napoleon.)

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
- Will Rogers (Thanks to Gail, mother of Josie and Oliver plus Maggie and Lucy, my beagle waiting at the Bridge)

"Q: What kind of dog is it? A: A happy dog, and that's the best kind!" (Thanks to Catherine)

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